Navigating the Fear of Childbirth with Compassion and Support

Are you overwhelmed by the fear of childbirth? The mere thought of bringing a new life into the world can cast a shadow over the joyous experience of motherhood. You’re not alone in grappling with anxiety and distress surrounding childbirth. Is your fear of childbirth more than just nerves? If it causes panic and distress, you may be experiencing a condition called “tokophobia.”

Understanding Tokophobia 

Tokophobia is a specific phobia characterized by intense fear or anxiety surrounding childbirth and pregnancy. It goes beyond the normal apprehension or nervousness women often experience when considering giving birth. Tokophobia is an extreme feeling of dread, panic, or distress when faced with the idea of becoming pregnant or going through labor and delivery. This fear can be so overwhelming that it can interfere with daily life experiences. For some women, it may even lead to avoiding pregnancy altogether. Tokophobia increases the chances of preterm birth. 

The prevalence of tokophobia is about 14 %, although it is likely higher since it tends to be underreported. If you want to read more about the prevalence and who is most impacted, click here. 

 Unraveling the Roots of Your Fear

While the causes can differ from person to person, it’s helpful to explore some common factors that contribute to this intense fear. By gaining insight into the potential causes, we can better understand your unique experience and work towards finding effective coping strategies. Let’s delve into the possible origins of tokophobia together:

  • Previous traumatic childbirth experience
  • Personal or family history of anxiety or mental health disorders 
  • Negative societal narratives or media portrayal: The exposure to negative stories, media depictions, or cultural beliefs surrounding childbirth can instill fear and anxiety about the process.
  • Fear of pain or loss of control, or injury
  • Previous experiences of sexual trauma
  • Fear of complications or harm to the baby
  • Limited knowledge or understanding of the birthing process can breed fear and anxiety about the unknown.
  • Extreme shyness leads to reluctance to allow genital visualization or examination, especially in women with a history of sexual abuse, such as rape.

Breaking the Silence 

Acknowledging your fear and seeking support is the courageous first step. Open up about your tokophobia to your partner or someone you trust about the depth of your fears. Tokophobia is a highly personal experience, and the causes can differ from person to person. Nobody chooses to have tokophobia, and it’s not something to be blamed for or seen as a deficiency. There is help.  Please reach out f you are in crisis  National Maternal Health Hotline.

Exploring 5 Coping Strategies 

  1. Talk with Your Doctor: Tokophobia is often associated with co-occurring conditions like depression or other anxiety disorders. If you are experiencing tokophobia, discussing your concerns with your doctor is essential. It is the time to explore and address any contributing mental health issues. Start out talking to your doctor about your fear and other concerns. 
  2. Seeking therapy or counseling: Therapy can be highly beneficial, as phobias respond well to psychotherapy. A skilled therapist can help you delve into the underlying causes of your fear and work with you to develop a personalized plan for overcoming it. Through therapy, you can gain valuable insights, learn coping skills, and practice techniques such as mindfulness, deep breathing exercises, and visualization. Additionally, trauma-informed therapies like Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR) can assist in resolving triggers related to past traumatic experiences.
  3. Develop a Birth Plan: You and your care team develop a plan that supports you and addresses your fears. Education and having options are key. Start by discussing your fears and concerns about childbirth with your healthcare provider. Remember that your feelings are valid, and there is no judgment here. Together, explore different options for managing anxiety during labor, such as having a trusted support person by your side, practicing relaxation techniques, or considering pain management strategies.
  4. Multidisciplinary Support: Many caring professionals can be part of your care team—doctor, midwife, doula, nurse, and therapist. You will not be alone during this process. Your autonomy and preferences are important, and your physical and emotional safety must be prioritized throughout the entire experience. Regular communication and reassurance will be key in building trust and addressing any fears or anxieties that may arise during the planning process. Remember, you are not alone; support is available to help you navigate this journey.
  5. Self-Compassion:  You can learn the practice of self-compassion. This practice can be beneficial; You learn to offer kindness, understanding, and support as you navigate and cope with your fears.



Tokophobia can create significant challenges and fears if you desire to have children. However, it is crucial to recognize that tokophobia does not have to dictate or take away your choice of starting a family. By understanding and addressing your fears compassionately, you can navigate anxieties in a supportive and informed manner. Using a multidisciplinary team, including therapy or counseling, can provide valuable tools and strategies to manage tokophobia. You can make decisions about parenthood from a place of empowerment. With support, understanding, and open communication with your partner, it is possible to find a path that allows for personal growth, healing, and the realization of your desire to have a child.