Trauma Therapy for Women
Seattle & Online Across Washington
When something in your system still feels on edge. There is a reason for what you're experiencing. And it's not because something is wrong with you.
Trauma doesn't always stop women from functioning. Many women I work with are thoughtful, capable, responsible, and used to carrying a great deal. From the outside, they may appear calm and successful while privately feeling anxious, emotionally exhausted, disconnected, hyper-alert, unable to fully relax
Iris Hogan, MSW, LICSW
When You Don’t Feel Like Yourself Anymore
You may look capable and composed on the outside, but inside something doesn't feel settled.
Your mind may replay certain moments.
Your body reacts in ways that don't always make sense.
You might feel on edge, emotionally exhausted, disconnected, or like you're always bracing for something.
Many women quietly wonder:
• Why can't I just move on from this?
• Why does my body still react this way?
• Why do I feel so different from how I used to feel?
Sometimes these reactions make more sense when you look at what you've been through.
Trauma doesn't always look the way we expect it to. Sometimes it follows a single frightening event. Other times it develops after months or years of living with stress, fear, loss, uncertainty, or experiences that left you feeling powerless.
Why It Can Feel Hard to Move On
Trauma responses can continue long after a difficult experience is over.
You may know that you're safe now, while your mind and body still react to certain situations as though something dangerous, painful, or overwhelming could happen again.
You may notice:
- feeling more reactive than you expect in situations that seem small
- shutting down or disconnecting when emotions become intense
- difficulty trusting yourself or other people
- feeling like you always need to be prepared
- struggling to fully relax or be present
Sometimes these reactions make more sense when you understand them in the context of what you've been through.
What matters in therapy is not whether your experience looks dramatic enough from the outside. It's how it affected you—and whether it is still affecting your life now.
If experiences from your past still feel emotionally present today, whether they happened recently or many years ago, therapy can help you begin to work through them.
EMDR & Therapy
Sometimes you know something is over, but it doesn't quite feel over. A memory still gets to you. Your body reacts. Something happening today suddenly brings you right back there.
This is where EMDR can be especially helpful.
EMDR helps us work with those experiences so they can begin to feel more like something that happened in the past, rather than something you keep getting pulled back into.
What Trauma Therapy Can Look Like
Many women worry trauma therapy means diving straight into the hardest parts of their story.
That's not how I work.
Trauma therapy often begins with:
- finding ways to manage difficult emotions when they feel overwhelming
- developing tools you can use in the present
- building enough trust in our relationship to approach difficult experiences gradually
We decide together what we're working on and how we approach it. You don't need to tell me every detail of what happened before you're ready.
How to know when to seek therapy for trauma
Trauma affects people differently. Sometimes the effects are obvious. Other times, they show up more quietly in relationships, emotions, or everyday life.
You may notice:
Emotionally
feeling constantly on edge or overwhelmed
shutting down when emotions feel too intense
becoming highly self-critical
feeling exhausted from always trying to hold everything together
In Relationships
difficulty trusting people even when you want closeness
feeling emotionally guarded or bracing for disappointment
fear of rejection, conflict, or vulnerability
feeling disconnected from people you love - sometimes even your partner or your own baby
In Your Mind & Body
racing thoughts or difficulty turning your mind off
intrusive memories or feeling emotionally pulled back into painful experiences
chronic tension, body pain, headaches, or exhaustion
difficulty fully relaxing, even during calm moments
Many high-functioning women continue managing careers, parenting, relationships, and responsibilities while privately struggling with the effects of experiences from long ago.
They may be doing well in many parts of their lives and still find that certain situations bring up old fear, tension, or ways of coping that are hard to change. Over time, that can become exhausting and isolating.
What Healing Can Feel Like
Healing doesn't mean forgetting what happened or never being affected by it again.
Over time, you may begin to notice changes in how you respond to what happened and how much it affects your life now.
That might mean:
- feeling less reactive when something reminds you of what happened
- understanding your responses with more compassion
- feeling more like yourself again
- feeling safer in your body and in relationships
- trusting yourself and your emotions more
- carrying less shame or self-blame
- having more flexibility in how you respond when difficult emotions come up
The memory becomes part of your history. It doesn't have to feel alive in the present or continue to control how you live now.
Feeling Safe Matters in Trauma Therapy
Trauma often involves experiences where you had little control over what was happening. I don't want therapy to repeat that experience.
We talk about what you want from therapy and decide together where to begin. I'll explain what we're doing and why, and you can ask questions, slow things down, or tell me when something doesn't feel right. You don't have to tell me every detail of what happened in order for us to work together.
Sometimes our work may focus on what is happening in your life now. At other times, you may want to work more directly with a traumatic experience, including through EMDR. We can make those decisions together based on what you're struggling with, what you want to change, and what feels manageable.
Trauma therapy shouldn't be something that happens to you. You should have a voice in what we're doing and how we do it.
Over the past two decades, trauma recovery has remained one of the deepest passions of my professional life.
Trauma therapy for women in Seattle & across Washington
Online therapy can make support more accessible and sustainable, especially during demanding seasons of life.
You don’t need to wait until things feel unbearable to reach out
A free 15-minute consultation is a simple place to start - a chance to talk through what's been feeling heavy and explore what support might feel like.
Why This Work Matters to Me
Many therapists begin as generalists and later develop an interest in trauma work.
For me, that was never the case.
My first professional role as a therapist was on an inpatient trauma unit, and I've worked in trauma recovery ever since.
Over the past two decades, trauma recovery has remained one of the deepest passions of my professional life.
Again and again, I've witnessed how profoundly women can heal when they finally have the right support, safety, and therapeutic tools to process what they've been carrying for so long.
Sometimes that looks like watching a mother begin bonding with her baby again after a traumatic birth experience.
Sometimes it's witnessing a woman who has spent years believing she was somehow broken begin to realize that her responses actually make sense in the context of what she's been through.
Sometimes it's hearing a woman quietly say:
"I feel hopeful again."
The courage women bring into trauma recovery is something I continue to deeply respect and never take for granted.
EMDR & Trauma Therapy
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is one of the approaches I use to help women process experiences that feel emotionally stuck or unresolved.
EMDR helps the mind and body reprocess painful experiences in a way that reduces emotional intensity and allows healing to move forward more naturally.
My work may integrate:
- EMDR therapy
- trauma-informed and attachment-focused therapy
- mindfulness and compassion-based approaches
- practical tools for anxiety, overwhelm, and emotional regulation
Frequently Asked Questions
Do I need to know exactly what the trauma was?
No.
Many women come into therapy simply knowing that something still feels unresolved, emotionally heavy, or difficult to move past.
We begin with what you do know and move gradually from there.
Will I have to relive everything?
No.
Trauma therapy is not about forcing you to re-experience painful events.
It's about helping your system feel less overwhelmed, reactive, and stuck.
What if I shut down or get overwhelmed?
We go slowly.
Part of trauma therapy involves learning how to recognize overwhelm earlier and helping your mind and body feel more supported while working through difficult experiences.
Can trauma therapy be done online?
Yes.
I offer online trauma therapy across Washington, and many women find virtual sessions feel more comfortable, private, and grounding.
What if I don't remember everything clearly?
That's completely okay.
Many women remember trauma in pieces, emotions, body sensations, or reactions rather than one clear narrative.
You do not need perfect memories or a complete story for therapy to be helpful.
We begin with what feels emotionally present and work gradually from there.
Reaching Out
You don't have to keep carrying this alone. A free 15-minute consultation is a simple place to begin - a chance to talk through what's been feeling heavy and explore what support might look like.