EMDR Therapy for Women
Gentle, Structured Trauma Therapy - In Seattle and Online Across Washington
A steady, research-supported approach that can help you process experiences that still feel emotionally stuck. If you've tried to "move on" but still find yourself reacting in ways that surprise you, EMDR can help you work through what continues to feel unresolved.
Iris Hogan, MSW, LICSW
When Your Mind Knows You’re Safe, But Your Body Doesn’t
You may know logically that the relationship is over, the birth is behind you, the crisis has passed, and you're no longer in danger.
And yet something in you still reacts as if the danger is close.
You might feel:
- anxious or constantly on edge
- overwhelmed by small things
- flooded by memories or images
- reactive in ways that surprise you
- numb, disconnected, or shut down
- like you're always bracing for something
Knowing you're safe now doesn't always make the reactions disappear. A memory, sensation, situation, or seemingly small reminder can bring back emotions and physical reactions that feel immediate and surprisingly powerful.
What EMDR Is
EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing) is a structured, research-supported therapy used to treat distress related to traumatic and other difficult experiences.
Sometimes an experience is over, but reminders of it can still bring back intense emotions, body sensations, distressing images, or beliefs about yourself that formed around what happened.
EMDR can help you:
- work through experiences that still feel emotionally charged
- reduce the intensity of distress connected to difficult memories
- feel less reactive to reminders of what happened
- examine and shift long-held negative beliefs
- make sense of past experiences in a way that feels less overwhelming
You don't forget what happened. The goal is for the memory to feel more like something that happened in the past, rather than something you're still living through now.
If you want to understand how EMDR fits into trauma work more broadly, you can read more about Trauma Therapy for Women.
If you want to understand how EMDR fits into trauma work more broadly, you can read more about Trauma Therapy for Women.
What EMDR Is Not
EMDR is often misunderstood. It is not reliving trauma, hypnosis, losing control, pushing through pain, or telling your story in detail.
You remain actively involved throughout the process, and we work at a pace that feels manageable for you.
What Women Often Notice After EMDR
While every experience is different, women often describe shifts like:
- "The memory no longer feels alive in my body."
- "I can think about it without shutting down."
- "I don't brace for it the way I used to."
- "It finally feels like it's in the past."
- "I feel more like myself again."
Why I Use EMDR
I first trained in EMDR more than 20 years ago while working in an inpatient and intensive outpatient trauma program, where I used it daily with individuals navigating acute and complex trauma.
Since then, I've continued using EMDR across outpatient and private practice settings, and today it remains the primary modality I use with the women I support.
Why I continue returning to EMDR:
it addresses more than intellectual understanding
it doesn't require reliving trauma in detail
it allows us to work with thoughts, emotions, memories, and physical reactions
it can help reduce the emotional intensity connected to difficult experiences
it it helps women work with what they feel, not only what they understand intellectually
it gives us a structured way to work with experiences that still affect you today
it can lessen the intensity of difficult memories
What EMDR can help with:
trauma and PTSD
birth trauma
medical trauma
anxiety and panic
intrusive thoughts
chronic overwhelm
relationship wounds
childhood experiences
grief and loss
perfectionism and overfunctionism
A Helpful Way to Understand EMDR
As trauma expert Bessel van der Kolk writes: “The body keeps the score.”
For me, that phrase captures something many women recognize: an experience can be over, and yet reminders of it can still bring back powerful emotions and physical reactions.
After more than two decades of using EMDR in inpatient, outpatient, and private practice settings, I've seen how meaningful it can be when something that once felt immediate and overwhelming begins to feel more firmly in the past.
Women may feel calmer, more grounded, less reactive, more connected to themselves, and less emotionally stuck
What EMDR sessions feel like:
EMDR sessions with me are structured but not rigid, collaborative rather than directive, and grounded — not dramatic.
Sessions typically include:
- grounding and preparation
- identifying what we're working on
- short sets of bilateral stimulation
- pauses to notice what's shifting
- time to reflect and settle before ending
You can always slow down, pause, or stop. We work at a pace that feels manageable for you.
The 8 Phases of EMDR
EMDR follows a structured process designed to help your nervous system process experiences safely and gradually.
Phase 1
We identify themes, patterns, and the memories you want to work on.
Phase 2
We build grounding skills and emotional safety.
Phase 3
We identify the image, beliefs, emotions, and sensations connected to the memory.
Phase 4
We use bilateral stimulation while working with the memory and noticing what comes up.
Phase 5
We strengthen the positive belief you want to hold about yourself.
Phase 6
We check for remaining tension or activation.
Phase 7
We take time to close the session and prepare for what you may notice afterward.
Phase 8
We check in on what shifted and what still needs support.
We move through the process at a pace that respects your nervous system.
What Bilateral Stimulation Does
Bilateral stimulation (BLS) is the alternating left-right stimulation used during EMDR — through eye movements, tapping, or alternating tones.
During EMDR, bilateral stimulation is used while you briefly focus on aspects of a distressing memory or experience. Researchers continue to study exactly how this part of EMDR contributes to treatment.
Women sometimes describe the experience as “something finally moving,” “like my brain is filing things away,” or “the charge isn't as strong, but the memory is still there.”
You remain actively involved throughout the process. EMDR is not hypnosis, you don't have to tell or relive every detail of what happened, and you can pause or stop at any time.
My Approach to EMDR
I trained in EMDR nearly two decades ago, while working in my first private practice, and it has remained an important part of my trauma work ever since.
One of the things I especially appreciate about EMDR is that there is no performance component. You can't be good or bad at EMDR, and you can't do it right or wrong. There isn't a particular response you're supposed to have or something you're expected to make happen.
Every person has their own way of processing, and I honor and support that rather than expecting it to look a certain way. You don't have to figure out where to go next or make anything happen.
My role is to facilitate the work, help you stay connected to the present, support you when things become difficult, and help you regulate when needed. You remain in control. We can slow down, pause, or stop when you need to.
I may also draw from grounding, mindfulness, self-compassion, or attachment-focused work depending on what we're working on and what is helpful to you.
For high-functioning women, EMDR doesn't take away your strength. It can help you understand and work through what you've been carrying underneath it.
Online EMDR Therapy in Seattle & Across Washington
EMDR can be provided through telehealth, and many women find online sessions more comfortable and accessible.
Online EMDR can make it easier to fit therapy into your schedule, feel grounded in your own environment, and transition back into daily life afterward.
You don’t need to wait until things feel unbearable to reach out
A free 15-minute consultation is a simple place to start - a chance to talk through what's been feeling heavy and explore what support might feel like.
EMDR for Birth Trauma & Reproductive Experiences
Birth, fertility struggles, pregnancy loss, and difficult medical experiences can continue to affect you long after they're over — especially when they felt frightening, overwhelming, or out of your control.
EMDR can help you process distressing experiences, feel less reactive to reminders of what happened, work through shame or self-blame, and reconnect with your body in a way that feels safer.
EMDR Intensives
Some women benefit from longer EMDR sessions that provide more uninterrupted time to focus on what they're working through.
EMDR intensives offer longer, more spacious sessions, fewer interruptions between periods of focused work, and more time for grounding, reflection, and integration.
EMDR for High-Functioning Women
Many high-functioning women have spent years pushing through difficult experiences without ever fully processing them. You may be someone who keeps going no matter what, takes care of everyone else, minimizes your own pain, and appears capable on the outside while struggling internally.
EMDR doesn't take away your strength. It helps your nervous system stop carrying so much underneath it.
Questions Women Often Ask
Will EMDR make me relive everything?
No. EMDR is not about flooding or retraumatizing you.
What if I don't remember everything clearly?
EMDR works with whatever is present - images, sensations, emotions, or a felt sense.
What if I get overwhelmed?
We go slowly and pause whenever needed.
How do I know if EMDR is right for me?
A consultation can help us explore whether EMDR feels like the right fit.
Reaching Out
You don't have to keep carrying this alone.
A free 15-minute consultation is a simple place to begin - a chance to talk through what's been feeling heavy and explore what support might look like.